Anniversary Musings

Our anniversary is fast approaching on May 29th. For those of you keeping track, that makes 10 years of marriage.

10. Ten. One-Oh.


People seem surprised to find out that we've been married this long. Granted, there aren't a lot of 29 year old women out there who have been married to the same guy for 3 years, much less 10.

Yes, I was 19 when we got married. (Mike was 25.)

I'd heard rumors of people betting we wouldn't make it past 2 years because we'd married so young. Would life have been easier if we'd waited? It depends on your definition of 'easier.' Would we have been in a better financial position? Probably. Would our relationship had lasted? I don't know.

What I do know is that Mike and I have gone through a lot. Moves, school, bad jobs, long-distance commuter marriage, infertility, unemployment. We've had our share of arguments and disagreements. There was even one occasion where I grabbed my keys and my purse, got in the car and drove off. 15 minutes later I was back and we were in each other's arms, both of us apologizing.

We've also had our moments of intense joy. Our wedding, Being Sealed in the Chicago Temple, my graduation from ISU, purchasing our first house.

In between those awful lows and wonderful highs, we have a 'comfortable' life. We tease each other, we beat up on each other, we help each other. We put off doing the laundry, or we throw ourselves wholeheartedly into the latest gardening project. We hold hands, we give hugs, we say 'I love you.' We fart in bed and pull the covers up over the other person's head. (Nothing says 'I love you than a S.B.D first thing in the morning.)

We both have busy lives outside of the home. Mike works full time, is finishing his bachelor's degree at UIC, and is a Stake High Counselor for our Stake. I'm teaching in a Junior High and I teach Relief Society on the third Sunday of every month. We are both serving as Ordinance workers in the Chicago Temple every Friday night. (Due to change because Mike's class schedule is changing for the Summer term).

With all this, we still MAKE the time to spend together. We try and talk about our days every night. We try and have a date night (or date afternoon) once a week. We try and share interests, or at least we pretend to be interested in a topic, if only to support the other.

We have learned to recognize when the other is grumpy and we work hard to not take it personal, and we ask what's wrong, and what we can do to help. We have also learned to communicate. We talk....A LOT! We try and talk about our days, our problems, our trials, our challenges, our little successes and the funny things that happened in our day. (Like Dale 'burying' his bone in the corner of the living room and the sound of his nose squeaking on the hardwood floor much like gymshoes on a basketball court.)

We love pillow talk. Those 10 minutes between prayers and slumber are precious. Laying next to each other, our legs intertwined, heads touching, holding hands, staring up at the ceiling and sharing our thoughts, fears, dreams, and if that IS a spider on the ceiling...kill it! Kill It! KILL IT!!!!!!

Perhaps the most important thing we have, besides our Love, is our Committment. We've committed to be together for Time and All Eternity. That's not a Covenant to be taken lightly. Too often, people think of marriage as a temporary thing. It's not. A true marriage is for the long haul. We KNOW that if we're to make it to Time and All Eternity, we'd better work damn hard to make sure that we get a long.

Anyway, we've got a neat little trip planned out for our Anniversary. It's not quite Spain, like we'd planned years ago to do for number 10 (A year of unemployment for me plus the icky economy kind of knocked that one back a few years), but it'll be nice.

We're going to drive down to St. Louis. Spend a few days there, including going up in the arch, going on a Paddleboat dinner tour (including horse-drawn carriage ride to and from the dock), and visiting the St. Louis Temple. On our way back to Chicago, we're planning on stopping in Bloomington/Normal and visiting some friends. It's not a glamorous 10th anniversary, but it's just us.

I could write more about our marriage, anniversary and plans, but Mike's headed to bed and I want my 10 minutes of pillow talk.